Curse

Rustjive · May 02, 2007, 03:15 PM // 15:15

Note: This is a somewhat satirical, but a 100% true (maybe) sourceless gossip page to catch people up on the happenings of the Guild Wars PvP community. After all, not everyone can sit around in GWP all day and keep track of anything, and if you can't, I suggest the Special Olympics. Have fun!

Guild Wars Page (Err)Seven

The Dog Days of Mid-Spring

Note: There was not enough news last week to give a real drama report, so there was no issue. There’s not enough news in the past two weeks combined – hence the title. But two weeks without (Err)Seven? I love you guys too much.

First, a news item that may or may not tell the whole story - frame it for us, if you will. Temporal Flux Reality [acid] was sold to Gangsta (who?), with three of its members – Pawn, The Fake Race Bannon, and Lews moving to Time Is Running [OUT]. More on what may be the new ownz guild later…

And so begins our sordid tale…

…Wherein Neatchee Faces Life Without The Ownz

Tensions between the two Weapon of Choice shows – Weapon of Choice: Weekend GvG Edition and Weapon of Choice: We Suck Ass Without Jesuz Lololol Khonsu Edition – rose to a head early last week, after the host of the GvG edition, [QQ]’s own Kestrel, let it slip that he was being let go following a particularly snarky conversation with Neatchee, the host of the other Weapon of Choice. It seems that somewhere along the line, DJ Wheat, iTG’s head honcho and host of Epileptic Gaming, decided that he wanted the WoC brand to go somewhere and he didn’t care if the person doing was totally out of touch.

The jist of said conversation was something like this:

<[acid]Neatchee> anyway, just so you'll stop asking me stupid questions...
<[acid]Neatchee> I’m the big daddy on WoC now
<[acid]Neatchee> So how about you come over here and sit on my lap
<[acid]Neatchee> and I’ll tell you all about this show that I’m making
<[acid]Neatchee> and you can touch me
<[acid]Neatchee> it’ll be fun
<[acid]Neatchee> You’re fired.

As always, Kestrel proved to be absolutely leakproof. We tried to get his take on things, and he denied comment. That guy, he’s just never involved in drama…

…So basically the entire world, including Wheat, heard about it. The final word is that Kestrel will be keeping his show, and so will Jesuz (biggest deadbeat in the world, ok), and Neatchee’s got his show too, a show ultimately doomed to fail in a flaming ball of boring scrub fire along with Khonsu. It didn’t stop Neatchee from shooting himself in the foot throughout all of this – his new show is about competitive gaming in general, and he started his show off on the right foot, by alienating the entire competitive Guild Wars community:

<[MH]Phelann> now neatchee, do you realize that this says something about the potential audience for your show
<[MH]Phelann> perhaps maybe
<[MH]Phelann> that it WONT HAVE PVPERS
<[MH]Phelann> ?
<[acid]Neatchee> Phelann: could be?
<[acid]Neatchee> not hardcore PvPers at least?
<[MH]Phelann> right.
<[MH]Phelann> and this doesn’t bother you in the slightest?
<[acid]Neatchee>Phelann: Oh, in hindsight it probably could've been avoided and it might have been nice. But no, it doesn't bother me as much as you seem to think it should.

And we didn’t even make that part up.

…Concerning Little Itty Bitty News Items

A quiet two weeks, and even Katina drama didn’t really occur. We saw that she and We Count Corpses’ [wcc] Destiny had an e-fight about who was a bigger bitch and scrub after Katina was kicked from vent for apparently no reason, but when your guild is 202-195, do you really want to be calling other people scrubs? We rest our case…

Taion also established himself as perhaps the greatest IRC chat warrior of our generation, taking on all comers this week. The members of [OUT] had a taste of his soon to be legendary wrath, as did Empress Dominique (cefx). Be warned, world, your scrub ass has been put on notice…

…Our Tale Continues With Much In And Out Action (Or General Srs Bsns PvP News)

The sheer number of guilds changing their rosters and players moving homes has been staggering the past two weeks.

Update: Team Everfrost's [eF] core warrior, Sliver, was ganked by Virtual Dragons [vD].

Spectral Agony [sA] seems to be done (or at least semi-done), with Magic leaving to look for a guild, and Mika leaving as well. Activity in general had been very low, considering their guild size…

Team Quitter [QQ] is slowly building up its roster, although its activity hasn’t picked up either. WorkHer, who had been searching for a guild, has been seen in QQ, as has Mika…

Darkmoon, formerly of OUT, had already given his 6 months notice because of an upcoming trip, but having lost his internet recently, is gone for good effective now…

Speaking of OUT, they seem to be the strongest recruiters out there. The 3 acid members before picked OUT, as did Katina, as did Monteige and Pogs from Zero Files Remaining [LaG].

Team Crystalline [TC] lost Warskull, who has put his account in Clan WASD [WASD]. TC actually lost two other members, but they came back to the yard when they saw Embryo's milkshake.

Hope Fails is in Team Flamingo [FFs] now.

On the rumor mill, Vanquisher might be quitting Guild Wars for good. Taion may be joining Dei Victorae [dV].

And the big surprise (or actually, what was obvious to everyone) the release of the Automated Tournaments (ATs) were moved back to May 9, despite Gaile threatening us to make us all liars. ArenaNet Community Relations – Bitches, what!

The Moral of the Story

Make more drama, please.

Byron · May 02, 2007, 03:25 PM // 15:25

Thanks for the catch-up. Lo, that we play Guild Wars. I'd like to see a Euro-edition tbh.

Sol Is Pyrrhus · May 03, 2007, 12:39 AM // 00:39

TC also lost Tricolor. LEARN2DETECTIVE

Div · May 03, 2007, 09:11 AM // 09:11

I've been waiting for this. FTW!